Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
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