4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
I stole a fireplace last night.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
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