How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
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