I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
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