So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Randomize