OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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