these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
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