But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
Randomize