Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
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