It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
what the fuck happened to the tacos
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