My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
Everything about him screamed your future.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
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