When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
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