I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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