i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize