my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
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TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
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Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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