Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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