next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
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