Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Randomize