Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
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