You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OPIZZABONMYDICK
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
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