So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
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