So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
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