I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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