I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
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