I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Randomize