so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
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She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
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Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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