Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
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