Do vagina's smell?
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
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