please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
Just high enough for therapy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
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