Im at strip club and am horny
Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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