This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
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