True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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