I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize