he puts the penis in happiness.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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