I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize