when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
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this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
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So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
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