I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
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