worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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