my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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