he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
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