I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
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