Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
Randomize