We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize