Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to make out with him forever
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Randomize