So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
organizing the empties. That sober.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
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