***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
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