Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
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Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
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