He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
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