Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
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