If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
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