He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Randomize